I am probably one of the most open minded people sexually compared to the average American. (Now compared to some of the freaky authors I roll with, perhaps not!)I think everyone should be able to do pretty much whatever it is they want, within the confines of an ADULT sexual relationship, as long as all parties involved are of like mind. Now, mind you I did say "pretty much". Even I have limits. An animal has no way of being "like-minded" and I was especially cautious to throw in there the ADULT part.
But like anyone else, I have my own hang-ups, we all do, and there are certain limits that I do not like to cross. I am always open and up-front with my partner when we discuss the do's and don'ts of our potential sexual relationship.
No water sports. No excessive pain. No other woman (sorry, I don't like pie, except my pie.)
One of my strong lines in the sand is cumming on my face.
Men seem to be transfixed with giving a woman "a facial". Is it that all the hot little porn stars are doing it? Perhaps. But I see something much darker in the act.
I see it as demeaning. And I refuse to allow a man to demean me in that way.
***Now, before I continue, I must stop and say that this is my PERSONAL OPINION...it is the reason why I will not allow a man to do it to ME. If you are female and enjoy it, then this is in no way a judgment of how you like to roll. You do you, honey.*** But in saying so, in my personal opinion, cumming on a woman's face is an act of aggression. It is a man's way of humiliating his partner, making her submit to his will.
And I just won't do it.
I love a good dominant man, one who likes to take charge in the bedroom and go all out alpha on me. But that is where I draw the line. It just isn't happening.
And that also leads to the whole, spit or swallow situation.
Dudes, bottom line, most of you have spunk that tastes nasty. Seriously nasty. At least in my experiences, which I will have to admit border on the edge of slutville.
My first hero was an alien that had cheesecake flavored spunk, no lie, as a joke. She ate him up with a spoon. And if a guy tasted like that, I sure as hell would, too.
"Well, if she loves me, she'll swallow it anyway." What-the-fuck-ever. Let's put a foul tasting slug in your mouth and see if you'll swallow it if you love ME.
Yes, I have been with men who I have had cum that tasted okay. There have been men I loved enough to do it for, because I DID want to please him (and it tasted okay....I don't care how much I love you, if it's vile, I'm not putting it in my mouth.)
There are ways to improve the taste...the old fruit bit, with a extra special helping of fresh pineapple everyday. Cutting back on the beer and soda, drinking more wine. It has helped in past experience, but not for everyone. Some guys are just predisposed to having nasty tasting jizz. Sorry about your luck.
I guess where I'm going with this is that I actually have had guys pissed off because I wouldn't let them cum on my face. It was something they'd always wanted to do or always did with exes. I really don't care...I'm allowed to have my opinion and set a limit that you should respect.
And ultimately, that is the whole point of this rant.
We all have limits. Some can be pushed, others can not. Those limits should be respected. If it's something that you just can't live without doing, then discuss it, in a reasonable manner and don't try to manipulate a lover by using the "if you love me" card. If a guy tried to push that shit on me, I'd walk. And have.
Men always say that reading erotic romances equates to men watching porn, and I will have to say I agree to some point that that is true. Men are very visual, women are more emotional, we all get our fixes in different ways.
So let's compare apples to apples, shall we?
So here's my deal, oh future men I shall have sex with. If you become one of the sexy, cut, alpha males in one of my stories, pure love and devotion, protecting me from every evil on Earth, offering hard-core sexual pleasure focused on little ole me then you can cum on my face or down my throat all you want. Sounds about fair to me.
BTW...when I typed in "cum" to google pictures, guess what I found? A page full of facials. Really? Am I the only one out there who hates the sight?
No you are not alone. I think guys think it is hot but if the roles were reversed they would so not like having it done to them. Or I guess they wouldn't..It is a persona own preference with what they like or not. I don't find it hot. So you are not alone.
ReplyDeleteNo, I doubt they'd be down if the roles were reversed.
DeleteI don't know what the obsession with facials is but men need to grow up and get over it because 99% of women find it sickening. I'll admit I'm a weirdo in bed who is down for just about anything, but that is where I draw the line. The closest I allowed was my neck.
ReplyDeleteAnd it taste nasty too so I wouldn't eat it. The only way I would do that is if I could drench it in alcohol, but even then I probably wouldn't touch it. As an erotic romance reader, I enjoy having the man come in the woman's mouth but in reality, I wouldn't go for it.
I don't mind the boobs, my stomach, my back...wherever, but a guy is so not going for the face. Nope. Not happening.
DeleteWeirdo in bed? Lurve it Angelina ;)
You're not the only one..that's a line I won't cross either.
ReplyDeleteHugs xx
Hear, hear!
DeleteI get told ALL the time that I'm prudish for that! To ME there's very few things as demeaning as blowing your load on me--ESPECIALLY in my face. That's grounds for us to NEVER see each other again. I will NOT be disrespected like that again after allowing you in my bed. Go fuck yourself! Its juvenile and selfish and no woman wants a man with those qualities!
ReplyDeleteAs for swallowing--I do it all the time no matter what it tastes like, cuz we women secrete the WHOLE time a guy is down there, so he swallows me--I'm doing the same. HOWEVER if he refuses to kiss me afterwards then that's the last blowjob he gets from me! Period. Because AGAIN, that is demeaning & Erika ain't down with that shit! If HE thinks he tastes too nasty to kiss me after then dick it's too nasty for me to swallow! LoL I've had one guy that didn't like it so he never let me finish him orally :) so BJs just became part of foreplay which was AWESOME for me! No lock jaw! LMAO
Great rant!!
Now, I didn't say I wouldn't swallow, but my desire to do so elevate the stronger I feel for a guy. Some random guy I'm dating who I know is not a forever kinda guy, less likely to go there.
DeleteThanks for sharing :)
Ok, so I'm going to go out a limb and probably be the only guy to comment on this post/rant. I use the word rant lightly only because Alexandra used it - I do understand the personal opinion aspect of what she's saying.
ReplyDeleteSo personally, I am not predisposed to want to shoot my load on a woman's face. Honestly, I can think of better places to make my deposit, however - I have had women actually ask me to do so. When asked, I had no problem complying and those women seemed to love it. Again, personal preferences. I would not have a problem with any woman who didn't like it, as I said - I'd rather shoot it someplace else anyway.
I've also had sex with women who are squirters and let me tell you, it's quite an experience to have a woman squirt all over your face while you're performing oral sex on her. I considered it a testament to my oral skills and it didn't bother me one bit. In fact, I got to the point that I wouldn't stop licking and eating until she did squirt.
On the subject of swallowing or not swallowing, my line is no swallow - no nothing. I can't have a sexual relationship with a woman who won't swallow - nope can't do it. As Erika pointed out, a woman is secreting the entire time I'm down there, so I expect the same.
Alexandra, this is a cool topic and I love the fact that you put it out there for discussion. Muwah!!@
Yay! Thanks for being the one guy here willing to post :)
DeleteI agree, there is all kinds of transference of fluids...but there is also pre-cum when a woman is orally pleasing her man, so it isn't completely one sided for a woman not to swallow. And like I said above, caring is sharing in my bedroom...the more I care, the more I share.
On the side of squirting...there are some men who are down and even get super excited about that, and others who get very disgusted. So, there are a lot of men, when faced with the potential to receive that which they want to give a woman and they balk.
As long as open and honest communication happens, you are able to set boundaries, and those boundaries are accepted and respected, all is good anyway.
Alexandra, I agree with you. When I read the hero "advising" the heroine that he wants or intends to ejaculate all over her face and expects her to enjoy it and thank him afterwards, an inner part of me says, "Really?" I don't find it "arousing" in fiction, or in real life. Nevertheless, this is just one of the actions/activities in erotic romances that make me cringe, and I don't consider myself a prude by any means, either. However, I do consider myself a sexual lightweight when I consider some of the more adventurous activities I've seen characters engage in and enjoy. Even so, for the women who enjoy getting "facials" in this manner, all I can say is "Have at it, ladies." I have read that a man's semen is excellent for the complexion, although, I do believe that article was written by a man.
ReplyDeleteI will never, ever, ever, ever write a facial scene in one of my books. (Even though I have been told to never say never in writing -- but I think it's disgusting so I can't ever see this changing.)
DeleteI don't find "facials" sexy for this reason: there's nothing pleasurable in it for the female partner. I don't mind a guy cumming on my breasts, because that's fun to watch. I don't mind swallowing at all - I've just always liked it since the very first time, for whatever reason. (You know what works well for making a guy's cum a pretty flavor? Have him eat a Sno-Cone. That Sno-Cone syrup always seems to show up in the spunk.) For me, personally, just as a matter of preference, I say no to the facial "money shot." I would have to have a very compelling reason to even do it in fiction.
ReplyDeleteSno-Cone syrup...taking notes....
DeleteNote: I reserve the right to make an exception for Christian Bale.
DeleteYeah, I might reconsider for him as well.
Delete'Cause "I wanna cum on your face" might actually sound kinda sexy in that growly Batman voice.
DeleteYou might be right there. He can get away with saying just about anything and I'd agree to it. Cuz he's Batman.
DeleteMy other half has an obsession with this, to the point where he wants to fool around with a friend of his cuz she has a dimple in her chin and he wants to (in his words) "fill it with jizz." Gross. I've only ever had it happen a few times in my life. It didn't really bother me. But it didn't do anything for me either. I've never actually looked at it in the way that it's demeaning, but I do see the point. As it hasn't been a major issue in any of my relationships, it's not something that I've thought a lot about. Most of the guys I've been with aim for my 44 DD's anyway LOL.
ReplyDeleteAs for swallowing, I do. Not every time, but with my partners, I let them know the option is there. Most I've swallowed have been pleasant. I had one that was just disgusting and I tossed my cookies afterwards. That was the end of that.
I was intimate with a guy for a couple of years and we recently went our separate ways. He asked me in the midst of our experience...our last sexual encounter...if he could cum on my face. It completely ruined the mood for me and made me want to stop having sex at that moment.
DeleteLet your boy keep aiming at those DD's :)
I'm not a fan of receiving facials or facials in general--I too find it a humiliating act (on a woman or male partner). And anytime a guy uses the "if you really loved me" line, he goes. You never use love to force someone into something they aren't comfortable with.
ReplyDeleteI want to give you a high five over this gem: "I don't care how much I love you, if it's vile, I'm not putting it in my mouth." lol.
Bro punch.
DeleteThanks for raising a subject a lot of women won't discuss, Alex.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you - no facials. IMO, purposely depositing any body secretion on another person's face is an act of domination or disrespect, whether it's spit, cum, or piss. Some male animals, as a show of dominance, will mount another male's head/neck and ejaculate or urinate on their face. For some reason, I equate cum facials with the same kind of behavior.
As for swallowing, I do. Always have with Hubs, but never before him. To me, that exchange is part of the commitment. As soon as a guy insisted on swallowing, facials, or anything else I wasn't happy about at the moment, he became an EX.
Kenra
This post sat in my drafts folder for a week after I wrote it, unsure if I wanted to tackle it...unsure if I was one of the only women that felt this way and I was being a prude. Good to see all the responses and being able to talk about it openly. Thanks for coming by and sharing.
DeleteWell, I have to say that I am one of the guys that do find it out of place, this is putting a woman down to a place where respect doesn't exist.
ReplyDeleteI am very open minded but as you said there is a line not to cross.
No means no and I respect that. The sexual act is something to enjoy between like minded adult and one of the last thing that you can still do to your liking.
I has to be enjoyable by both individuals, not forced.
Absolutely correct. Nice to get another male perspective. Thanks for stopping in.
Delete